Fear Factor

Fear factor 在台灣AMX (?)頻道有播出. fortgot the Chinese name though. But it is a program that use the most horrible, disguesting stunts. 比賽的內容盡是一些你無法想像的噁心,可怕,恐怖. Throughout these fear testing, they eliminate participates to one, and the winner will get lots of money.
正常來說,女生應該不會對這種節目有興趣的, however, I was, 6 months ago.

I was a competitive worker, pursuing and enjoying the challenges from work every day. When I came back from the office, it was usually around 8-9pm. Have couple bites of snakes and cookies( I called them "dinner"), take a quick shower, and then log in MSN to start my 2nd shift of the work. When finish, it is around 11pm. By then it is the time I finally done all the tasks and works. And it is the time to watch fear factor!

Because me and him were living in different cities, that was my normal life- live-alone and independent. One day he tried to call me during 11-12p, the fear factor time, I refused to talk to him because need to watch the sick program for relaxing! Right after said that, I realized something needs to change.

While pursuing the challenges and rasing the bar, you tend to overestimate the stress you can take over. I sometimes yelled at him with little tiny thing, and immediately regret what I was just talking about. From then I started to fear I may do something that make our relaitonship farther and farther.

Because of these fears, I realized my (our) life needs to be changed. Otherwise, I will keep watching fear factor, and sometimes unconciously hurt him. Early this year, decided to give up all the accumulated achivement I have done, switch the role to become a housewife.

I know my self so deeply that I will not satisfy with just sitting at home, however, I also understand that if I don't change the life at this movement, I will regret.
Well, that's the whole story of me being a housewife...

It is hard to claim I will not have fear factors any more, however,
it is nice to have him, sitting beside me, help me to face the fear.